I’m allergic to diets

Tony joined Weight Watchers a couple of weeks ago.  He has been wanting to lose weight for a while (he is about 40 lbs heavier now than when we met).  I, the amazing chef and probable cause for his weight gain, have decided to help him out by cooking less “good”.  A challenge for me, I know. Not to toot my own tuba, or anything.  I’m just that good.

I made some banana bread last night, following a lower-fat recipe and substituted Splenda for sugar.  I tasted the batter, and it tasted alright.  Then, I started to feel ill.  Vomity, even.  I waited for the bread to come out of the oven, then sliced some for myself.  I chowed it down, and still felt ill.  In fact, I was writhing on the couch from the nausea. It felt like I was pregnant with Sacha “I make my mommy puke” Adam all over again.

I told Tony I thought I was allergic to Splenda.  He laughed.  Said it was impossible.

I felt sick all night.

I felt fine when I awoke this morning.  I noticed that Tony and Sacha had enjoyed a couple of slices of bread and left a few crumb pieces on their plate.  I ate them up, not thinking anything of it.

Now, I feel like poop on a stick.

I think I am allergic to diets.

Aw, well.  Back to fried perogies with bacon for me!


6 thoughts on “I’m allergic to diets

  1. Splenda is (besides tasting disgusting) a trap for dieters, because its effect on the brain is quite unlike that of sugar. In fact, it can lead you to crave more sweets and thus make it harder to diet.
    Fried perogies and bacon, if eaten in large enough quantities, do not send people out looking for pie and cake. You figure it out.

  2. I’ve actually heard that a lot of people have a negative reaction to Splenda. It’s not really “health food” it’s just processed chemical crap. I try and make baked goods with applesauce instead of oil and still use real sugar. Then I just try and eat less of them. Sigh.

  3. Yeah, I would stay away from anything that isn’t natural. Splenda is definitely not natural. Just eat more fruits and veggies and more whole grains and you should be fine! Everything in moderation, but keep it as natural as possible!
    I’m coming more and more to the conclusion that we are poisoning ourselves with all the overprocessed foods that we eat.

  4. Bev: you’re a genius.
    And for the record, I am not on a diet. I have lost more than the baby weight. I am only trying to support Tony’s efforts by using low-fat and low calorie alternatives for HIS consumption. Clearly, I need the fat. And calories. And taste.

  5. I have adverse reactions to all artificial sweeteners. People tell me that it’s impossible because splenda is not aspartame, so it should be one or the other, but it’s not. It’s both. Good luck to the husband, though!

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