The main bullet point of this presentation

  • Sacha pronounces pumpkin “cappi”. How the heck does that happen?
  • The pumpkin I carved yesterday had an anus. The pumpkin Tony carved had a pseudo-anus (it was closed up). Like someone who has had a colostomy.
  • Keeping with that, how do people with colostomy bags fart? Does it smell? If so, like regular farts or more like baby-spit-up (partially digested prunes and what-not)?
  • Why is Hippo Monkey always so constipated? And why doesn’t Lactulose work for him? Does he have bowels of steel or something? Or maybe some sort of micro-steel that doesn’t absorb anything and won’t flex to let the poop out?
  • Why is software so expensive? I really want Dreamweaver CS4, but I really don’t want to pay $399 for it. And Santa is not that rich in our house. Or in my mother’s house. But I do really want to get into web designing. Frick on a stick.
  • On that note, why the heck is Tupperware so expensive??
  • Furthermore, must get ideas for Christmas gifts for the Hippo Monkey (aka Kees) that Sacha will not steal the minute the unwrapping is over.
  • Scratch that. Impossible.
  • Is wealth distribution really such a bad thing? If so, I must be a Gay Nader Fan for Peace. Or worse. A FRENCH Gay Nader Fan for Peace. Wait. I am French. Hmmm…
  • How am I to keep Sacha away from the Halloween stash so as to prevent further candy-sugar-induced night terrors? Like the one last night that woke up his brother? Oh wait. His brother wakes up every 2 hours for his damn suce (aka binky, toot, soother, crack, whatever else you call it in your house).
  • Happy Feet is the most annoying movie ever made. And WHY do people think it is a kids’ movie? Showing the penguins being all sexed-up and dirty dancing-like and with At.ti.tude. It’s just creepy. That’s all. Just creepy. Goonies…now THERE is a good movie! And it teaches a good lesson, too: don’t drop your baby, or when he grows up, he’ll throw you off a pirate ship.

Answers to any of these are most appreciated. In the comments section. Right below. See? Yeah, you know you wanna.

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “The main bullet point of this presentation

  1. You still have an anus with a colostomy bag. Steel is spelt steel, unless you’re referring to theft. By ‘of wait’ I think you meant ‘Oh wait’.
    I think you’re spele cheque is busteed.

  2. So I know the answer to your third bullet. ..don’t think you want to know though, it’s unpleasant, but probably easier…that should be sufficient to answer the question 😉

  3. ha ha ha ha! And Happy Feet, not a kids movie and not remotely funny as an adults movie. FAIL!

    Will you get mad at me if I tell you I have a hacker uncle who’s sending me a copy of CS4? I’m conflicted. I really need it, but I really don’t like the idea of using a hacked copy. Then again I’ve been using his hacked copy of CS for the last 4 years…

  4. We need to make rainbow signs for our front yards that say “Gay Nader Fan For Peace.” I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a huge crush on Jon Stewart for that one.

  5. By accident noticed that probiotics makes poop soft and abundant. While treating thrush, Mireille was a poop machine. Good luck. Oh, when she is constipated and I catch her grunting, I strip her and hold her under her knees over toilet/potty so that she is in a mid-air squat. Works wonders! Have fun.

  6. By accident noticed that probiotics makes poop soft and abundant. While treating thrush, Mireille was a poop machine. Good luck. Oh, when she is constipated and I catch her grunting, I strip her and hold her under her knees over toilet/potty so that she is in a mid-air squat. (her back is leaning on me) Works wonders! Have fun.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s