- Sacha pronounces pumpkin “cappi”. How the heck does that happen?
- The pumpkin I carved yesterday had an anus. The pumpkin Tony carved had a pseudo-anus (it was closed up). Like someone who has had a colostomy.
- Keeping with that, how do people with colostomy bags fart? Does it smell? If so, like regular farts or more like baby-spit-up (partially digested prunes and what-not)?
- Why is Hippo Monkey always so constipated? And why doesn’t Lactulose work for him? Does he have bowels of steel or something? Or maybe some sort of micro-steel that doesn’t absorb anything and won’t flex to let the poop out?
- Why is software so expensive? I really want Dreamweaver CS4, but I really don’t want to pay $399 for it. And Santa is not that rich in our house. Or in my mother’s house. But I do really want to get into web designing. Frick on a stick.
- On that note, why the heck is Tupperware so expensive??
- Furthermore, must get ideas for Christmas gifts for the Hippo Monkey (aka Kees) that Sacha will not steal the minute the unwrapping is over.
- Scratch that. Impossible.
- Is wealth distribution really such a bad thing? If so, I must be a Gay Nader Fan for Peace. Or worse. A FRENCH Gay Nader Fan for Peace. Wait. I am French. Hmmm…
- How am I to keep Sacha away from the Halloween stash so as to prevent further candy-sugar-induced night terrors? Like the one last night that woke up his brother? Oh wait. His brother wakes up every 2 hours for his damn suce (aka binky, toot, soother, crack, whatever else you call it in your house).
- Happy Feet is the most annoying movie ever made. And WHY do people think it is a kids’ movie? Showing the penguins being all sexed-up and dirty dancing-like and with At.ti.tude. It’s just creepy. That’s all. Just creepy. Goonies…now THERE is a good movie! And it teaches a good lesson, too: don’t drop your baby, or when he grows up, he’ll throw you off a pirate ship.
Answers to any of these are most appreciated. In the comments section. Right below. See? Yeah, you know you wanna.