Higgledy-Piggledy with Numbers

Number of names given to our cat, Mr. Dash, (who meows incessantly at Sacha’s door when he is sleeping) on any given day: dozens, including but not limited to:

  • dumbass
  • jackass fuckface
  • Idiot! (think Napoleon Dynamite)
  • fucker
  • jerkwad
  • ass bandit
  • retard
  • shithead
  • pig
  • fucking cat
  • stupid cat
  • DASH!
  • dickface
  • fuckweed
  • ass hat
  • dickhead

———

Number of train and/or train related toys in our house to satisfy Sacha’s obsession with all things train: 0

Number of pool pumps sitting in our storage room that Sacha thinks are trains and insists on riding: 1

Number of Thomas the Train videos viewed on YouTube: infinity squared

———

Number of socks designed and intended to fit a Winnie the Pooh doll: 0

Number of socks Sacha thinks are rightfully Winnie’s: 2, my newly finished knit Thistle Socks, which Sacha took off my warm feet and put on his Winnie.

Winnie in my socks! Thistle sock #1

——–

Number of soothers hacked up, destroyed and garbaged in the last week: 10

Number of soothers still remaining in the house: 5 (we think, although Sacha has been known to stash them for future dry spells)

Number of soothers that are actually fully intact: 3 (the other 2 have teeny holes pierced in them)

Number of soothers required by the little dude to go to sleep: 2 (an improvement from 3, which was the standard until last week).

Number of times I wish I had taken the fucking thing away a long time ago: the integral of infinity raised to the power of x.

——–

Number of child-mullets waiting to be rectified by a competent stylist: 1 (but a very important 1)

Number or rockin’ haircuts received in the past week: 1

Rockin' the do

What’s your number, baby?

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7 thoughts on “Higgledy-Piggledy with Numbers

  1. oh man..I so remember the days of ‘where’s my binky mommy?’ binky? binky? binky?

    It was a rough time..and it fucking takes forever for them to forget about those damn things. Woody still asks where his is..and we got rid of them in August. *sigh* Hang in there.

  2. I’m so using the word “ass bandit” now! I thought I was the only one who swore at stupid cats.

    And a few more thoughts:
    -The socks look awesome (as does your hair!)
    -The number of times you wished you’d taken the soother away cracked my ass up
    -I love the intensity that Sacha appears to be watching daddy put the socks on Winnie – freakin’ adorable.

  3. Hmmm, having a rough week? Sounds a bit like mine. I’m freaking out because my sister-in-law hijacked the perfect family vacation that I’m planning this summer and my hubby feels the need to defend her. Ugh.

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