Possibly the ugliest gingerbread house ever made

When I was a kid, my aunt used to make gingerbread houses and invite us over to decorate them. She was a pro – she had all the cool icing bags and tips, she could make icicles, she could do anything. We made really cool houses every year and loaded up on a ton of candy in the process.

In an attempt to recapture my youth, I bought a gingerbread house kit. If you want to make a house as cool as mine, here’s how:

1. Cut the tip of the icing bag WAY too big so that any fancy decorating is completely impossible.

2. Try to cover up the bad icing job with tons of candy. Like so:

My beautiful mosaic wall

3. Do not follow any colour scheme or motif. Motifs are for losers. Chaos works better:

Looks like a dog pood out skittles

4. Make sure that the icing that comes with your kit does not set. Despite following all instructions to the letter, what you really want is for your roof to fall off after you’ve tossed a pound of candy on it to cover your bad decorating job:

Documenting for insurance purposes

 

5. Use boxes to hold the roof in place so that it doesn’t cave in anymore. Pose like a dumb-ass next to your decorating abomination:

Our sweet-ass candy house

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14 thoughts on “Possibly the ugliest gingerbread house ever made

  1. It’s not sooo bad! 😉 I haven’t made one in years so I can’t complain! I remember one year my mom made a bunch of gingerbread loaves and cut the tops at angles and we used them as our houses – sticking graham crackers on for roofs. It worked really well, but then again it wasn’t me making them! 😉

  2. Ha! I can one-up you with last year’s gingerbread creation. It was going to be a castle, I baked a fancy round tower piece around cans, a cute little drawbridge piece with holes to attach, and walls complete with crennelations. It was original! It was special! Then I got sick and tossed the whole project into the freezer where it still languishes. How long does gingerbread keep anyway?

  3. That is awesome! What a gingerbread gagortion. I’ve got you beat, though. Mine is uglier because it has been stripped of all of its candy. Nice.

  4. I was cracking up while reading your post and when I got to you picture that was the best. I never had any luck with gingerbread houses either.

  5. Thanks for the tips! We’re doing our gingerbread house today (no time before Christmas – oops)
    I’m glad to learn that chaos works best because with two little ones I’m sure it’s going to be plenty chaotic. 😉

  6. fantastic! it’s way better than mine! okay…i didn’t make one. but if i did, it would not rawk like yours!

    and now, with your easy-to-follow instructions, i can make one of my own next year! 🙂

  7. that is too funny. I have never attempted a gingerbread house. I’m going to bookmark this page so I can come back and follow your directions next year. 😉

    Thanks for the laugh.

    Jackie Lee 🙂

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