I won’t be home for Christmas

Christmas is going to be very different for me this year.  This will be the first time that we are alone – Tony, Sacha and I.  We have no family coming to visit, and we were unable to go back home to visit family as T could not get the time off.

Growing up with a francophone mother and a ukrainian-slovak father, there was never any shortage of people to celebrate the holidays with.  Christmas eve involved midnight mass followed by a reveillion at my Memère’s (grandma’s) house: feasting, singing, playing games, and general merry-making until 3 or 4 in the morning. Christmas day was traditionally spent with my Baba and Gedo and my dad’s family, eating perogies, holubtsi, nalesnyky, 5 kinds of pies, and lots of games: Rummoli was always a favourite.

Then there was the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day.  It seemed as though everyday involved some sort of house party or get together,  involving more food, more games and merry good times.  My mom usually throws a mean-ass New Year’s Eve party for family and friends, and age doesn’t seem to factor in to the level of fun you can have.

This year, Christmas will be silent.  We will go to Christmas eve mass, although we will be going to the 5:00 mass so that it doesn’t interfere with Sacha’s bedtime.  We will most likely go to bed around 10 because we know that Sacha will wake up at 6 or so, and then we will spend the day much as our other days are spent: play, Dora, Elmo, lunch, nap, play, attack the kitty, supper, bedtime.

It just doesn’t feel like Christmas.  Too quiet.  Too empty.

I am still clinging to some sort of fantasy that someone is planning on surprising us and flying out here at the last minute.  Although I am certain that this will only leave me more disappointed when the day comes and no one else is here.

I’ll put on a brave face and pretend that it doesn’t bother me that we are alone.  I will smile and try to make the best Christmas I can for Sacha, but it will not be easy.  All I can do is count down the days until we are back among family next summer and I can sleep soundly in the assurance that we will never again be left in such isolation during this most special time of year.

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16 thoughts on “I won’t be home for Christmas

  1. The grass is always greener. I long for the kind of Christmas you’re having this year. But I understand the loneliness and I hope you are able to find some joy this season.

  2. awww…that’s too bad. but maybe it will be good to have a quiet Christmas…’cause next year, you’re going to have two little ones running round, and you will be begging for some downtime! 🙂

    but seriously, i’m sorry your Christmas isn’t going to be with you family this year….*hugs*

  3. We went through some of the changes you are going through. We decided that was a time to start new family traditions…We’ve started with these fledgling traditions that grow a little bit each year. It’s a rough start, but things grow and morph and suddenly you’ve got something you are excited for year to year.

  4. Sorry you’re feeling blue 😦
    That kind of a Christmas sounds like a dream come true to me but I think if I was faced with it really I probably wouldn’t like it too much.

  5. It aches in the depths of my soul that I’m not going to be able to surprise you.
    Because I would love nothing better than to see the smile on your face knowing I would be able to teach your son all the things you’re postponing I teach him. HA!
    We’d make our own reveillon and play that stupid game I tried to hate for so long that you have that I can’t remember the name to.
    I love you <33

  6. Christmas to New Years is party week for us too.
    Only our son is nowhere as eager to spend time with us as you are with your family. So I’m jealous, just a little. (not of you, of your mom)
    I’m having mini-reveillon Christmas eve, for a Czech guest (so far, just one). I was going to do Czech dinner and then I thought she could do that for herself, time to dig into my own ethnic waybackground.
    We’ll do something silly in your honour.

  7. Peace and joy for your Christmas. Start a new tradition that’s just for your family. And in future years you can do it before (or during) you visit your family!

  8. You made me cry. I’m so sorry you have to spend Christmas alone. I wish we could magically transport the three of you here for the day. We’ll be thinking of you every minute. It just won’t be the same without you guys.

  9. Pingback: A visual aid « Cheeze Whiz and Mustard

  10. You may actually enjoy a quiet Christmas. 🙂

    I was excited to see the Rumolli reference. My husband’s mother was Canadian, and Rumolli is very big at the in-law’s house. In fact, every New Year’s Eve, they have a small get together and play, and I am looking forward to it this year.

  11. I wish we could fly down there – Sacha and Elliot could destroy the house together while Arlo giggled at them. Who’s going to make fun of people and giggle until we cry with me this year? And I can’t find anyone nerdy enough to play Settlers with me here and it’s killing me. I can’t wait for you guys to be home. Love you and hope it’s not too awful. 🙂

  12. I did survive my first Christmas away from home. What I remember the most was that the turkey stuffing wasn’t a bit like my Mom’s. Little things mean a lot. You, Tony and Sacha will be in our hearts and maybe on the webcam. Big hugs!!!

  13. I’m feeling your pain. This is the first year in my life that I won’t be with MY family on Christmas day. Weird. Especially since they live down the road.

    Here’s hoping Christmas is a fabulous time for both of our families…regardless of who we are with.

    Peace and best wishes to you and yours!

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