I miss you already

Dear Elliot,

We said our goodbyes about an hour ago, and I miss you already. You gave me a hug and a kiss, then cried and wanted me to go stay at your house. You said you were going to miss me and Tony and Sacha and that you didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to cry in front of you, I wanted you to see the face of your goofy auntie Sarah, but I let the waterfall out as soon as you left. Singing Sacha to sleep was a strained voice jetted with tears and cracked breaths.

When you were a baby, I used to visit you and your mom every Friday afternoon. You always smiled at me, laughed until you were red in the face when I danced like a moron to “Proud Mary”, you loved reading with me, and I loved every minute of you. I had pictures of you on my bulletin board in my classroom, and told relentless Elliot stories to everyone with ears to listen. You are the reason I wanted so much to become a mama. I loved you that much.

It hurts me so much to have to leave you, knowing full well that it will be almost a year before I can play with you again, that Sacha will be a year older before you two can once more terrorize each other. How I wish that my concept of time and space was as innocent as yours. Maybe then you wouldn’t seem as far away or I wouldn’t miss you so much in between the together times.

You just left, and I miss you already.

I love you, Elliot.

Auntie Sarah
The monsters under the bed!


8 thoughts on “I miss you already

  1. Thanks for making me cry again, woman. I’ve been trying to work on a post about you silly Chuks and how much I miss you, but I think I’ve had enough tears for tonight. It’s hard to type while crying, so I think I’m going to rest and work on it tomorrow. One must space out the tears.

    Seeing how much Elliot misses you guys and how much you miss her makes it so much harder that you are far away. I can only hope this next year goes as quickly as this past one and that soon you will be back home and have that much more time to spend with Her Crazy Highness.

    Elliot’s mama 🙂

  2. I used to feel this way about my little Lizzy. She was the only baby, my only niece. I was bereft when she left to go home.

    It gets easier as the kids get older. They remember more, and they can talk on the phone.

    I’m sorry for your hurt – I know how hard it is. May this next 12 months go by swiftly for you and yours.

  3. Pingback: Missing « Poot and Cubby

  4. Sarah, Tony & Sacha,
    I miss you guys already too. I enjoyed and appreciated every second I got to spend with you the past couple weeks. Can’t wait until the next time!
    Jenny (aka Auntie)

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