A meal at the slaughterhouse

I am hiding out at Poot and Cubby’s house. Literally. We be roomies until Monday.

To celebrate this momentous occasion of toddler/infant/preschool debauchery, we decided to brave it and go out for lunch yesterday. Us mamas were very hungry. The kids, not so much as they have a habit of snacking, munching and gluttony around the clock.

Sacha is no stranger to the restaurant glamour, and I am experienced in the ways of bringing Sacha out in public to consume food. However, I have never attempted to bring S to out with other children that could aid and abet his scheming ways.

We sat in a booth, which was fantastic for S. He could crawl about and muck about in all sorts of things, with Elliot at his side cheering him on.

He decided to crawl up onto the table and grab the bowl full of sugar packets. Elliot laughed. He took the out one by one, inspecting them, and then tossing them to the floor. Then, he crawled underneath the table to resume inspection of said packets and started ripping them open and drooling over the contents.

Lunch came, and I put him in his high chair, gave him some fries and squirted some ketchup on the side for him. Mmmm…ketchup is a main course, no? He started by dipping his fingers in it, then his whole hand, then smeared it all about his face, his hair, up his nose until there was none left on the tray.

But S was not satiated. He then dove headfirst into his tray and started licking it like mad, scrambling for every last mL of ketchup.Why the hell did I even order fries? I should have just asked for a ketchup bottle, as it would have been FREE and that’s all he ate, anyway. Oh, and a banana that I brought for him. Which he dipped in ketchup. A new delicacy, perhaps?

Then, there was the fun of potty time with Elliot and Sacha. Elliot wanted to go pee while I was cleaning up Sacha in the bathroom. She then held his hand and the pair waltzed around the restaurant together. It must have been a grand old time, because they went to the bathroom three times in five minutes, with nothing coming out but a couple of farts. From both parties. Mamas not included.  Ah, kids and farts.  Is there anything funnier?

I looked back at the table area before we left and felt a great urge to clean up.  I didn’t, though.  I just left a nice tip instead 🙂

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3 thoughts on “A meal at the slaughterhouse

  1. It truly was a massacre of epic proportions. Why, oh why, did we not think to bring a camera for the sake of blogging about this occasion?

  2. Thanks for the laugh! We’ve been through the same thing.

    In effect, chicken we served our daughter often became little more than an expensive disposable spoon for the real meal: the ketchup.

    1) Pick up chicken.
    2) Dip in ketchup.
    3) Lick ketchup from chicken.
    4) Repeat.

  3. That was great. Bubbie is a handful when we go out to eat, I also feel the urge to clean up afterwords. Like you though I leave a hefty tip.

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