T is gone to a conference in good old Ottawa for the next 6 days. This makes me a single mom until June 6th. Oh joy.
Here’s how it’s gone so far:
Sacha woke up at 5:50 am. Tried to put him back down, but he started crying 15 minutes later. Turns out he was working on a covert pooperation. Changed his dirty bum in the dark (to avoid total wakening) but failed miserably and smeared poo all over self and S. Frick. Guess we’ll wake up. Wonder if too early to call neighbour for a visit.
Zombie-like state of awareness until 8, when I turned on Treehouse only to find that evil bitch Dora telling me to say some damn Spanish word. Sacha watched it, while I laid on the couch. I close my eyes, thinking “I won’t fall asleep.” Next thing I hear is S crying and laying on his side, as he must have fallen or lost his balance sitting. I saw nothing as was sleeping with eyes open. Bad mom! I take him upstairs and he goes down for a nap, and so do I.
Doorbell rings. Twice. I have no clue what time it is, and I look worse than the poo smears. It’s my neighbour, Lynn (who is also playing the single mom game) with her daughter and a Tim Horton’s coffee. Hallelujah! I will survive!
Afternoon call from the husband. Says Ottawa is beautiful. I say 3 covert poops, probably more to follow. He laughs. It’s not funny, I say. Should inquire with Canada Post regarding policy on poop-mail.
Supper with other pretend single mom (PSM) and her 2 kids. Sacha grabs Smarties from my hand and pops in his mouth. Gets extremely pissed when good mommy pries them out of there as most likely a choking hazard. Plus, they’re MY freaken Smarties!
Decide to bathe Sacha and other PSM’s 23 month old daughter together for shits and giggles. Speaking of shits, we have covert poop number 4. Sacha flails arms maniacally around in the tub to splash with enough force to knock self backward and into water. Now Sacha is pissed off, and bathing fun is over.
Read Moo Baa La La La for the quadrillionth time. Sing. Night night Sacha.
Go to pour stiff drink for Mommy. Realize out of alcohol. Die a little. Only 5 days to go.