It’s Monday, better step on the scale, see how much I gained last week –> I step on –> what? That can’t be right –> step off, step back on –> WHAT? 5 lbs in a week? OMG, I’m gonna be huge –> wait, what if this means something’s wrong –> oh no, I have hypertension –> the baby is going to be born preemie and small like Sacha –> I’m going to have to go on meds –> frick I hate pills –> good thing I have benefits –> Shoppers has shitty benefits –> maybe I should go to Shoppers and use their blood pressure machine –> yeah, I shouldn’t get worked up for nothing –> I go to Shoppers, take off my coat –> stupid bubble jacket, frick I wish my other coat would fit right now –> I put my arm in the machine –> hum the jeopardy song to myself –> what? 148/80? That can’t be right –> repeat jeopardy song –> oh crap, 143/86 –> I am getting hypertension –> I’m going to die –> I can feel the blood in my body pulsing against my skin –> that’s definitely what having hypertension feels like –> what if I get preeclampsia again? –> I’m going to be stuck in the hospital and the baby is going to have to drink formula and won’t nurse –> I’m fo sho going to die this time –> stupid uterus and its lack of stretching abilities –> that’s totally what it is –> if I was living 200 years ago I’d be dead already –> I’m like those dumb cows who have to have their calves pulled out of them with ropes because they can’t push them out properly –> that was so gross to see –> poor calf –> I can’t believe they named him Matthew* and then butchered him –> Matthew tasted good, though –> it’s not wrong to think that, right? –> how did I get on that? Man my mind is deranged…

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*Matthew was a calf that my aunt’s family raised and butchered for meat. I don’t know who named him Matthew, but I vividly recall my Baba commenting at a family meal that Matthew sure was tasty and tender.

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